Brady Fun
You love 'em, you hate 'em: Find out how much
by Lou Cabron
Published December 17, 1999 in Dirt

Thirty years after that first sappy episode premiered in 1969, the Bradys are on the cover of People magazine. And Greg (I mean, former Brady actor Barry Williams) recently released a dreamy new CD! (The Return of Johnny Bravo)

See also...
... by Lou Cabron
... in the Dirt section
... from December 17, 1999

Whether you're a Brady-hater or a Brady-obsessed stalker, we want you to share your true feelings about the tantalizingly unrealistic '70s TV family. Everyone's got memories -- if not sordid fantasies -- and now you can finally vent, and obtain some catharsis for that misplaced teen angst. It's Brady-mania with an interactive edge.

Do you miss Mr. Brady? Share your impure thoughts about Bob and Carol and Greg and Alice...

Greg and Marcia come on the screen. You...
Fantasize about them having sex together.
Sigh wistfully about that restraining order from Barry William's lawyers.
Gwyneth Paltrow. Sorry, that's left-over from a past quiz.

Mrs. Brady walks on the screen. You...
Pant.
Wish she would sing a hymn.
Wish you had a maid.

Complete this sentence. Every time I see Jan Brady, I...
Wonder why the hell I'm watching The Brady Bunch.
Empathize. I hear voices in my head, too.
Snicker about the band that named itself Eve's Plumb.

Things I'd like to hear Mr. Brady say to Mrs. Brady.
Greg can't be my son. Look at his hair.
I'm sure glad we get to share a bed. Not like the Petrie's.
By the way, I'm gay. Just thought you should know that.

The Brady I identify with most is...
Tiger.
Peter, because I have no personality.
Johnny Bravo.

Tiger the dog mysteriously disappeared after the second season. This is because...
The Bradys ate him.
He wanted to direct.
He was hit by a truck.

If I were a member of the Brady Bunch, I would:
Probably be Cousin Oliver, and everyone would hate me.
Hit Marcia in the face with a football. Repeatedly.
Be Sharon Stone. Sorry, left-over from that other quiz again.

Someone brings up David Cassidy. You...
Shout "How dare you mention The Patridge Family in the same breath?"
Feel warm inside contemplating his dreamy hair. Then say nothing.
Grumble about the other restraining order.