MOSCOW -- For the fifth time in as many months, Russian president Boris Yeltsin emptied his entire liquor cabinet after a ten-year-old brandy challenged his ability to drink. Yeltsin last liquidated his cabinet after a bottle of Stolichnaya accused the capillaries on his nose of cheating at backgammon.

An expert on Russian affairs speculated Yeltsin's action was calculated to send a potent warning to spirits and liqueurs in the Duma. "The president is sending a clear message to all of the hard stuff in the lower house: You could be next," Dr. Peter Ivanovich of the University of Moscow said. "The anxiety is palpable -- not only for the alcohol itself but for members of the house, some of whom could actually give Yeltsin a run for his money at the bar."

Speaking from the Moscow Sanitarium, which he checked into yesterday to recuperate from a "minor cold," Yeltsin seemed to confirm Ivanovich's analysis. "Insolence of any kind -- in my cabinet or in the Duma's -- will not be tolerated. I made poopy in the right place yesterday."

Reached for comment, Duma leader Alexei Popovsky said, "Kostya Vasyenko. I will speak no more." Vasyenko, an outspoken Yeltsin critic, was found clinging to life last month in a cheap Moscow hotel. He was discovered in a bathtub, his liver missing, with nothing but a dirty sock and a jar of peanut butter for first aid.