How To Hit On Superfreaks
A normal dude's guide to picking up alternachicks

You know you want her. You know you've been watching her. That tattooed bald chick with all the earrings standing across from you on the bus. The black-coifed waif sitting next to you in English Literature. The underdressed rave chick receptionist downstairs. And why shouldn't you want her? Alternachicks offer you an opportunity to walk on the wild side, to taste the forbidden fruit of societal rebellion without actually having to get anything pierced.

See also...
... by Xavier "Spike" Acton
... in the Whoa! section
... from August 12, 1999

Got a thing for chicks with genital modifications? A deep craving for women whose record collections look like Tipper Gore's worst nightmare? Hey, those chicks aren't as choosy as you think. Your pal Spike can help. Here's how you can recognize, catalog, and quickly seduce the more typical examples of today's female fashion rebels:

OPEN THE CHART.

Xavier Acton isn't nicknamed "Spike" for nothing. His work has appeared in such underground zines as Stiff Brisket, Aural Torment, Home Piercing Digest, Mayhem is Your Friend, and Monterey Peninsula Serial Killer Review.