If you've got a nasty scar you'd like to get rid of, you're in luck. Newly available without a prescription, DuraSil sheets are made of silicon and can be applied directly to the scar in question. They generate static electricity, which reduces your skin's production of collagen and results in flattening and shrinkage of the scar.

The Magic Comb excites and invigorates your follicles, encouraging hair growth and thickness. Where once was a chrome dome will soon be the luxurious mane of a South African wildebeest. Combining the principles of acupuncture with high-tech electrostimulation, this puppy will turn you into the Ron Jeremy of your dreams before you can say "I am one hairy-ass motherfucker."

Thomas S. Roche is a GettingIt staff writer with a mane like a warthog and no distinguishing marks.