Subculture	How do you know he's cheating?
	Beatnik	He's actually writing poetry again. And it's not too excruciating.
	Eco-Nut	Pepsi cans in your recycling.
	Fetish/SM	Enema nozzle unexpectedly soiled; can't get up the energy to smack you around anymore; strange new woman caught on his Prince Albert.
	Gangsta	Somebody's been dissing his homeboys and needs to be taken care of -- every night last week.
	Goth	Whistles in the shower. Sometimes clicks his heels.
	Hacker	Hotmail account.
	Headbanger	Deafness in remission: has begun to pay attention to every word you say.
	Hippie	Like you'd even care.
	Mullet	Forget it. No one else wants to fuck a mullet but you. Loser.
	New Lad	Two ticket stubs to Rent in his jacket pocket. Or even just the one.
	Performance Artist	Oh please! All performance artists are shagging anything that moves...and several things that haven't moved for weeks.
	Punk Rocker	Easy one -- the new girl's name is carved into his chest.
	Science Fiction Nerd	Weekly baths.
	SNAG (Sensitive New Age Guy)	His orgone box is getting dusty.
	Theory Nerd	Has recently begun to consider adopting a more perversely polymorphous approach towards phallogocentric discourse.
	Y2K Survivalist	Nothing but blanks left in his M-16.