You never think twice about popping in a holiday video for your kids. What harm could that lovable snowman do? Think again! While you believe your children are being harmlessly entertained by annoying songs and bad animation, anti-abortion messages are being drummed into their heads. An analysis of beloved 1969 cartoon Frosty the Snowman reveals a chilling right-wing propaganda tool. Don't take my word for it. Read the synopsis.

Professor Hinkle, the evil and foolhardy magician, is humiliated in front of a classroom full of children when his magical top hat will not perform correctly. Displeased with the hat, he throws it in the trash. Representing a condom, the hat is a source of frustration for the magician, who, like most men, complains that it reduces pleasure and can impede performance. The careless act of throwing away the hat [condom] will soon create a new life form.

Not far away, a young girl named Karen has just "given birth" to a snowman. The hat, now representing the release of sperm, haphazardly blows throughout the town until it lands on the snowman. Frosty comes to life for a very brief moment, long enough to say "happy birthday!" It becomes evident that as soon as the hat is removed, the snowman is no longer alive. The children plead with the professor to give back the hat, explaining that at the moment of conception, life is created. The length of gestation is of no consequence -- at no point should life be taken away. By refusing to give back the professor's hat, the children choose LIFE over death/abortion. It doesn't matter to the children that Frosty would never know if he were alive or not; it only matters that life was given.

The rabbit, Hocus Pocus, also castigates professor Hinkle, just as many rabbit tests used to shame men during the pre-abortion era. The irresponsible magician denies giving life to Frosty. Disregarding the children's and the snowman's feelings, he selfishly takes the hat, thus "aborting" Frosty. A generic boy moans, "Aw, Frosty, we don't care what grownups [read: liberals] say, we know you did come to life."

The discarded top hat becomes the focus of a struggle between the professor and Karen. The irresponsible father figure continues to harass the mother figure to give up her child for his convenience. He even takes up the familiar refrain of deadbeat dads, yelling, "You tricked me!"

Meanwhile, it seems that the entire society is out to kill Frosty. When Karen and Frosty attempt to buy tickets to the North Pole to save his melting body, the ticket clerk yells, "No money, no ticket!" Just because she is poverty stricken, society turns her away, essentially encouraging her to abort her child.

Frosty becomes worried that Karen is freezing to death and should return home. Who do they turn to for help? Hocus Pocus recommends the Marines and the President of the United States. Frosty rejects those ideas, knowing that since Karen has chosen life, the government will not help. The rabbit finally recommends Santa Claus, a religious advocate.

After many misadventures and hijinks, the professor destroys Frosty and retrieves his hat. Santa saves the day and returns Frosty to life. The power of Santa [i.e., the church] to impose guilt upon the magician makes professor Hinkle give up his hat and do penance by writing 100 zillion times, "I am very sorry for what I did to Frosty."

The problem is now what to do with Frosty. Due to her economic situation, Karen cannot take care of him. Santa becomes the foster parent and takes Frosty away from his loving family. And so we are left with the message that life begins with the moment of conception, and adoption is the best alternative to abortion.

So, the next time the extreme right-wing propaganda of Frosty the Snowman is on television, pass it up for the left-wing, queer, Marxist propaganda of Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer.

Lynn Powers is the author of Killer Art: Art That Has Maimed, Killed or Caused General Destruction Through the Centuries and desperately hopes you will buy a copy.