Did you know that your mattress, pillows, sheets, and blankets are a virtual haven for that vilest of all common household pests, the dust mite? That's right, your foul sweat soaks the very core of your bedding, providing the moist environment in which those dust mites love to schtup, multiply, and feast on your dead skin cells! You slough off enough skin every day to feed a universe of foul microscopic beasts. But it doesn't stop there; they're also copping squats, leaving behind dust mite feces -- a delicacy among the nouveau riche in some countries, but a highly-allergenic substance as feces go. The only solution? Dust Mite Barrier Bedding. The tightly-interwoven fabric creates a Great Wall of China those pesky little mites and their butt-nuggets can't breach. You'll be snoring easy in no time. $19.95-$89.95.

And now that you're not working up a sweat by sneezing and coughing all night, you might have noticed that you're freezing your ass off. Rather than relying on that inefficient and anti-ecological electric blanket, why not put those kilojoules to good use with the tree-hugging Electric Mattress Pad, which uses energy more efficiently because it heats from beneath. Heat rises, remember? "Fits all mattresses," claims InteliHealth, "even extra deep, and stays perfectly in place without awkward elastic straps." Can you say the same about your other bedtime toys? $89.95 twin to $149.95 King.